Sunday column: The unexpected ‘Yes’

Exactly one year ago Rick and I had our first date. Read the story of our first date here. A first date of one hour, one hour that would eventually change my life. Because of this anniversary, I’m sharing a column that I wrote a few months ago, when I was in my head-over-heels state. And the great part is, I’m still head-over-heels in love with Rick!

When you’re a woman who has passed the age of 25, you’ll get asked the inevitable question: Do you plan on having children? So I was asked again the other day. Especially when everyone around you is walking around with a big baby belly, and you’ve only got so much as a little muffin top, every one want to know if you’re busy. Oh, I’m busy alright, but my goal in the act is an orgasm, not a child. Shall I just throw that one in as an answer the next time?! That will shut them up.

Anywho, everyone is popping out babies around me like it’s nothing. My best friends brother just became a father for the first time, my stepsister just became a newbie mommy, hell, my nephew and colleague’s son were born on the exact same morning a few months ago! Now the loaded question gets asked even more. Loaded question? When the answer is not YES I WANT KIDS it’s a loaded question, believe me.

The first time I was asked, I was still with my ex. What happened next had something to do with a blushing face, an awkward answer (“I don’t know yet”) and an uncomfortable glance at the man I should have children with within a couple of years. A sweet man who would definitely be a great father and who wanted to be a great father. Deep inside though I knew I didn’t want to be a mother. Now I know I didn’t want to be the mother of his children. And that’s a big difference.

Children? Neh, too busy Tindering

A little over two months ago I had a short spontaneous date with a man I was randomly ‘Tindering’ with. I prefer tindering over bearing, thank you very much. While I was busy extending my contact list at that time (meaning: collecting phone numbers of potential fuckbuddy’s), I met the man that would change everything.

We were both dating other people, we were both not looking for anything serious. Well, we came back from that one. We both had never been so in love in 28 years. ‘That that could still happen at the age of 28’, we’ve said to each other about 28 times. After two weeks Tinder was deleted, after 4 weeks we were officially exclusive and after 7 week he whispered ‘I love you’ in my ear at his mothers house. Resolutely I whispered ‘I love you too’ back.

Last Sunday we got to talking about cartoons. Of course he likes cartoons as much as I do. Before I knew it, an uncontrolled sentence I’ll never forget flew out of my mouth: “So you’ll wake up every Sunday morning with our kids to watch cartoons with them?” And all of a sudden I saw the three of them sitting on the couch in their pajamas. Daddy in the middle with his arms around two curly headed cuties, sleepy staring at the TV. The feeling I felt was the same feeling I felt when the man in question told me he was in love with my for the first time: butterflies.

Hold up, what?! Lian, you don’t even want kids! And mostly: Lian, you’ve only known this guy for two months! In one millisecond these thoughts came to mind and in one millisecond they disappeared when he smiled and said: “Yes, me in my onesie and them in their koala pajamas, haha!”

Tick-tock, gotta go, my biological clock is ticking!


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